Listen up, brothers and sisters
Come hear my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature
Trapped in the dirt like a jail

Vegetables live in oppression
Served on our tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness
I say we take up the fight

Salads are only for murderers
Cole slaw’s a fascist regime
Don’t think that they don’t have feelings
Just ’cause a radish can’t scream

{Refrain}
I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables, scream scream scream
Watching their skins being peeled, having their insides revealed
Grated and steamed with no mercy, burning off calories
How do you think that feels, bet it hurts really bad
Carrot juice constitutes murder, and that’s a real crime
Greenhouses prisons for slaves, let my vegetables grow
It’s time to stop all this gardening, it’s dirty as hell
Let’s call a spade a spade, it’s a spade it’s a spade it’s a spade

I saw a man eating celery
So I beat him black and blue
If he ever touches a sprout again
I’ll bite him clean in two

I’m a political prisoner
Trapped in a windowless cage
‘Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips
By killing five men in a rage

I told the judge when he sentenced me
“This is my finest hour
I’ll kill those farmers again
Just to save one more cauliflower”

How low as people do we dare to stoop
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup
Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes
Set potted plants free, don’t mash that potato, ah

I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables scream scream scream
Watching their skins being peeled fates in the stir fry are sealed
Grated and steamed with no mercy you fat gourmet scum
How do you think that feels leave them out in the fields
Carrot juice constitutes murder V8′s genocide
Greenhouses prisons for slaves yes your compost’s a grave
It’s time to stop all this gardening take up macramé
Let’s call a spade a spade it’s a spade it’s a spade it’s a spade